Toxic Relationships

The Human family as we know it is only about 900 years old. Before human families were created we lived in tribes.

The tribe was a lot like a herd. We sort of just ran around all inclusive, without a lot of drama since there was enough death for all of us.

But then we evolved. Are still evolving. Since the family is such a new institution, it’s still imperfect.

Contrary to traditional belief, the concept of a family is not ‘natural’. Nuclear Families are a sub category to bloodlines. In ancient society property was held by the clan, group or bloodline. Tools and resources belonged to everyone.

This all changed when clans began to survive longer and grow bigger and eventually settle into farming and agriculture.

The family has flaws as an institution. Families build boxes and constructs to mold us before we even have the motor skills to escape. Expectations are placed on us before we even have language to decipher them. From a very early age our society reinforces that our gender should determine our interests. Balking the family is akin to murder. There is no way to protest when family relationships depend on this balance of power. Children have the least agency in our society but the most responsibility to overcome obstacles and be successful. This sets the stage for toxic relationships in work and life.

We’ve replicated this system for years now. Even modern schools are a testament to our disgust with youth. Schools are designed to tech rote mechanics needed for factory work. The rows of desks, uniforms, bells and whistles? All chosen for the purpose of control.

Nuclear families were intended to conserve and consolidate resources. The transition from collective to personal ownership began the battle of bloodlines. Control became a part of the human nervous system. Because family grew to be so important to social life, its toxicity seeped into our way of being with other people and institutions.

Clans are today replaced by nations, states, and nationalities. We are more closely related in geography than self interest. But our self interest still rules our intentions.

 

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